04-24-11

I've been too long at the fair
And, lord, I just can't stand it anymore

280.3 miles

Leaving Lake Thunderbird I head back towards Downtown Oklahoma City. I intend to see the Memorial to the Oklahoma City Bombing. The site of America’s domestic terrorist attack by Timothy McVey and his ilk.
Don’t get me started of how much I hate and pity those people living in MY country who hate it so much they will kill and destroy what they perceive as “people trying to take away their rights”. They Have no rights if what they do is this sort of wrong.
I know, I said MY country, like I had ownership.
No. It’s more like I CHOOSE it.
I could never Own the United States. The United States is a fiction…unless we all unite to make it so.
And we’re far from doing that.
Like the Native Americans who were stewards of this land long before we came here, I realize it is not mine to own. It is mine to protect for future generations.
THE LAND.
Not commerce; Not Free Enterprise.
The Land.
The Country.
And Tim McVey and that ilk can burn in eternal damnation for all I care.
They were/are never worthy to call themselves Americans or even citizens of the United States.
I had these thoughts and a few myriad more as I walked near the reflecting pond (which I stepped into at first because there was water all over and I couldn’t tell the walkway on the side was a different level than the black pool area only about a foot lower.)
There is a statue across the street of Jesus with his back to the memorial with his had covering his face and a look of shock and disbelief.
And this day was Easter Sunday.
Fittingly: somber, grey and full of rain.
I tried to capture a small video moment.
And Mischa ended it by embarrassing me by taking a dump on the grass. I, luckily, had a bio-bag with me and collected the log and made a hasty exit.
I’d seen enough already anyway.

I started driving west to see if I could drive into sunshine somewhere in this state. I knew of a campsite way west called Foss and thought I’d stay there if I didn’t find anything suitable earlier.
I’d called family in Colorado to try to prepare for coming into that state next week (my Birthday week) and see if there might be a place to stay for a few of the days there.
I was told that one of my nephew’s and his family who had been living in the Redding area of California had just recently moved to Oklahoma!
I called my nephew. He’s a trucker and was in Las Vegas at the moment, but confirmed, yes, he did live there…in Shawnee! And I was welcomed to stay there. He’d given me his address and home number and I called his wife. No Answer.
I got a call a bit later from my nephew who said his wife wouldn’t be home today as she was going to spend the day with her sister who lived nearby.
I took the news in a stunned sort of way. I had though I had been given this great gift of shelter from the road at a time when I needed it most only to have it denied by fate.
I continued west and found nothing better than a foggy overcast in all directions of sky.
I drove to Foss lake and while it might have been a temping, even beautiful spot on a dry summers day, it  took the inhospitable look of a Scottish loch in winter or a windblown  Newfoundland beach.
I started heading back hoping the Red Cliff’s canyons might provide more shelter and warmth. I drove back via Weatherford along it’s stretch of old route 66 and before getting back on the freeway to head east again I stopped for some McInternet time and to rest my eyes for a moment. It was almost 6 pm and the day was getting to me. I rechecked my finances and saw they were low again. I had been hoping that fund from a friend who had told me he could help back on the 6th of the month might be forthcoming but still nothing had shown up
.
Then a call.
My nephew in Las Vegas. His wife was at home and had seen a number she didn’t recognize and wondered if it had been me. He said, I could go there tonight!
I called her - indeed I was invited to stay. I was at least 75 miles from Oklahoma City and I wasn’t sure how far it was to Shawnee after that but I said I’d be there in just over an hour.
I’d checked the weather just before the call and it looked like I might just get there during a little break in the storm patterns projected for that area.
I drove like a mad man for over an hour and got there with very few moments of heavy storm action. I pulled up to their house just as a phone call came in. “Are you close?” Is your front door open…I’m in front of your house” Oh…then I’ll see you in a moment!”
I got in and settled and was soon ready for sleeping. It was a welcomed change from how I had expected this night to end.

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As I drove from Weatherford towards Oklahoma City & Shawnee a friends song came on the radio. I had never heard it in the context I was hearing it in at that moment. My attention was being drawn to the rawness of the situations described in the lyrics - all of which seemed to be mine just prior to the call.

Firefall - Just Remember I Love You

When it all goes crazy and the thrill is gone
The days get rainy and the nights get long
When you get that feelin' you were born to lose
Staring at your ceiling thinkin' of your blues

When there's so much trouble that you wanna cry
The world has crumbled and you don't know why
When your hopes are fading and they can't be found
Dreams have left you waiting, friends have let you down

When it feels like sorrow is your only friend
Knowing that tomorrow you'll feel this way again

When the blues come callin' at the break of dawn
The rain keeps fallin', but the rainbow's gone
When you feel like crying but the tears won't come
When your dreams are dyin', when you're on the run

And all those dark feelings had been my companion through this long day.

But the phone call - it had added the chorus to the song.

Just remember I love you
And it'll be alright
Just remember I love you
More than I can say
Maybe then your blues will fade away*

And, I may not be a believer, per se, but…
Today was Easter, after all.

* Lyrics Rick Roberts